The Adventures of Bumblefoot: DPR Talks to Ron Thal

Infectious? Yes, but no hemorrhoid cream is needed for this case of Bumblefoot. “It goes back to when I was helping [his wife] study to become a vet,” says Ron, “that's where I came across the names of the animal diseases."

In addition to impressive solo album releases and collaborative work throughout his career, Ron's work has been featured on videogames such as Wild Woody (SEGA, 1996), Outlaw Volleyball (XBox 2003) and Test Drive - Eve Of Destruction (PS2 2004) as well as television on MXC, That Metal Show and more. Ron is also preparing to release a new original song for the popular videogame Rockband, “Right now we have the song "Guitars SUCK" in play-testing to be released through Rockband Network, it's set up for version 2 of the game.” The makers of Rockband recently announced the introduction of the new ‘pro’ controllers to be available with the upcoming third instalment of the game due out for the 2010 holiday season. The new ‘pro’ controllers are meant to teach ‘real’ guitar through the game, as they will feature a full size fret board and the option to use a real electric guitar as optional controller for the game. The new controller format is bound to add a challenging edge to Ron’s tunes, “I plan on releasing more songs for Rockband, and when Rockband 3 comes out end of this year I'd like to keep up with the most current format if possible.” But that’s not all! Ron is also going through final preparations to re-release his acclaimed debut album The Adventures of Bumblefoot in August as well as a tab book personally transcribed by him. “It was an incredible challenge” he admits, “it took 6 months of listening to every guitar track singled out, re-learning what I played and exactly how I played it, and writing out 200 pages of TAB, musical notation, fingers, picking, everything for every note I played on the album.”

His tenure in the current incarnation of Guns n’Roses, including contributions on the band’s anticipated release Chinese Democracy (2008), is the latest addition to an already well-rounded resume. Despite an impressive portfolio that would make almost any musician green with envy, Ron ‘Bumblefoot’ Thal is an abnormally normal guy who not only takes the DIY philosophy to heart but also is notorious for his constant interaction with his fans. “I enjoy meeting everyone, getting to know them.” Even with the hectic and often unpredictable Gn’R tour schedule Ron would often find time to meet fans outside the hotel, at venues and wherever he was spotted, often posting numerous witty Facebook updates of his Adventures. As a true independent artist, Ron also handles his own accounting, publicity and bookings. “It's a constant battle to get things done,” he adds, “more things are added to the "To Do list" faster than you can check things off.” Ron has not only contributed to the long awaited Guns n’ Roses release Chinese Democracy but he has also found time in between to release an original album and an acoustic EP (Abnormal and Barefoot EP 2008) while concurrently working with heavyweights such as Overkill, Anthrax and Exodus (just to name a few) at his private studio in central New Jersey, an unassuming house near Princeton that Ron has renovated into a studio. He describes the place as just “an old house where I go to make noise.” However, the studio is a busy place, boasting visitors such as Zakk Wylde and Dream Theatre while adding video production to the services provided.

“I love challenges,” he adds, and it is this love for challenges that led a young Ron Thal to learn Eddie VanHalen’s legendary instrumental song Eruption, a challenging benchmark of shred skills to any guitarist, however young Ron took it a step further and after learning the song from the top he decided to learn it backwards too! “It goes back to being 12, being so inspired by Eddie Van Halen, I learned Eruption and then flipped the tape reels in the cassette copy I had of it and learned the song backwards.” And though it was KISS’ 100,000 Years that made Ron want to pick up a guitar and play it was EVH’s iconic instrumental that inspired him. It started with learning Eruption backwards and quickly evolved into modifying and creating his own gear, “it was hearing Eddie Van Halen at that age that inspired this” he adds “–I'd read how he'd modify his guitars and I started coming up with my own weird modifications for my guitars.” This fascination continues, showcased on some of Ron’s most iconic guitars such as his “Cheese” and “Bumblefoot” models, which he chopped up himself, or his “Hand” model, which was cut by Tom Cannalonga.

Ron has also toured with iconic punk-rock guitarist Lita Ford, “I had a lot of fun on the Lita tour, it was with my solo band drummer Dennis Leeflang, and friends of mine – there was a lot of laughing and fun.” Ron keeps some of his gear consistent between tour and solo appearances, “With Lita we usually had a rented Marshall half-stack and a Les Paul waiting for me at gigs, and I'd bring one of my Vigier guitars, a wah pedal, a Tube Screamer & a Boss delay pedal. Sometimes we'd have an Engl Invader100 head whenever possible, which is what I use with GNR.”

Ron’s material is available online at www.baldfreak.com/store.html as well as on Guns and Roses’ 2008 studio album Chinese Democracy.

We’ve Got Deadlines To Meet!

I had the chance to sit with Max Kerman for a burger and a chat before Arkells took the stage for the first official show of their “Fall Canadian Classic Tour" in Brantford, Ontario. The Arkells boys are enjoying a hard-earned rocket ride to stardom, becoming household names and receiving top honours from their hometown at the Hammies as well as recently garnering a Juno for best upcoming act. Max and the guys also did a phenomenal job warming up the crowd for Them Crooked Vulture’s Toronto date, marking the first show of the Edge’s Summer Concert Series. Their first album, Jackson Square, has created quiet a stir and proudly lists heavyweights such as John Paul Jones as their newly acquired fans.

A heavy touring schedule has helped Arkells bring their music to all corners of Canada, enjoying the top spot in radio stations across the country. “Mike usually does all the driving, but once we go out west we all kind of take a turn,” says Max. The road always brings interesting experiences and Arkells band members are no strangers to Canadian highways. Having toured the country extensively, they have a fair share of interesting road stories, “We were driving in BC [this past] February and we saw a sign on the side of the road warning of fog, we didn’t think it would be foggy all year round, how could it? And within 2 minutes after passing it was so foggy we couldn’t see 5ft in front of the van, we were so terrified. Dan had his head over the wheel trying to see and Mike had his head out the window telling him how far we were from the edge ‘cuz we were in the [Rocky] mountains, I was just behind Dan going like ‘Dan try defrosting it, try defrosting it’ and he’s going like ‘it’s fog outside man, there’s nothing we can do.’ Then finally this truck came out of nowhere and helped us out, he guided us through the fog, he came out of nowhere—our F150 angel.” Max is quick to point out that he doesn’t usually drive for a particular reason, one many can relate to. “For some reason I have a bad reputation as being a poor driver, I didn’t get my license until I was 18 or 19 which is much older compared to the other guys.” Though one could argue that the age factor is not a real excuse for not driving long distances the band has had some close calls with Ontario’s finest. “Once we were driving home from Winnipeg, we were near Muskoka and we had gone straight for like 19 hours … as we went through this small town the speed limit changed and I didn’t notice so we got pulled over [by the OPP] so I’m probably the only guy who gets away with just a warning for speeding—we didn’t get a speeding ticket.”

No doubt touring has helped Arkells build a strong fan base across Canada. However as is often the case with nationally recognized acts, it has proved rather difficult for the band to break into the American market. Difficulty is something Arkells are familiar with and it doesn’t easily discourage the band. An example of this is their plan to take the U.S by surprise with the upcoming American release of Jackson Square. “Yeah we’re gonna re-release (Jackson Square) in the New Year in America. A lot of Canadian bands do really well here but have a hard time crossing over so were gonna give it the old college try and see what happens.” When asked who their distributor will be, Max acknowledges that “it’s still being worked out but we have a few options were really excited about.”

Arkells have been going strong for about four years, starting as a university band out McMaster University in Hamilton (Ontario), but how did it all come to be? “I met Mike and Nick when I was 17 or 18 during my first year of school, we met Dan and Tim a couple years later.” Of course, I had to know - are you happy with the way the band has taken shape? “Yeah its great, it’s been a great year I think!” he adds with a humble smile. Reflecting on other bands’ success as either a rocket ride to the top or a work hard to party hard scenario, Max admits “we know we’ve been very fortunate to get the opportunities we’ve got, we’ve also worked really hard it sort of seems natural to us the way its growing, its not like ‘oh my gosh, we’re playing Letterman!’ We’ve taken steps in the right direction, and while we’ve gone to play some big shows as openers we have a pretty good idea where we stand as a band, the kind of numbers we pull and the work that is left to grow our music.” But, after all that, does it still catch you a little off guard? Like the gig with the Tragically Hip and Sam Roberts [this past summer in London,] or the Metric tour? “Some things have become sort of normalized by now” Max adds, “others we go ‘oh my gosh this is so cool!’ Like for example the other night the Hip were playing in Hamilton, we went out to check it out and ended up hanging out with some of the guys after, they came out to a bar [with us] and it was one of those times when we all kind of just looked at each other and went ‘yeah this is a little different, not what we’re used to.’”

As a personal favourite song, I had to ask Arkells about The Boss Is Coming! What’s with the warning? “Those lyrics are pretty literal. I’ve had a line of jobs by now and I hate the feeling of going to work and being afraid of that one person who might wreck it for you. I hate just keeping busy, where there’s always that one manager at your job where you go ‘well its not gonna be fun if he/she is there today,’” Max says. Left wondering if this alluded to anything in particular, he continues, laughing “I remember working at a restaurant as a waiter and I had a little pad to write down the orders and I’d also write down ideas and verses so I remember writing down the lyrics while I was there … the song came pretty naturally”.

The music of Arkells speaks to all groups, anyone can relate to their album because of the themes within it. I was curious to know how Arkells came across the ballad of Hugo Chavez? “Thematically, the album is about people who we think are interesting, that we admire or question. I was reading about Chavez and his rise to power. I read that in the early ‘90s he tried to overthrow the government but failed and got thrown in jail and that while he was in jail he ended up learning (about Marx, Lenin and Socialist Theory) even more so, I thought it was an interesting concept where this negative situation was turned into something worth his time, so I just thought that it was an interesting concept. It is not a political commentary on what’s going on right now, I’m not in a position to say anything because I’m not in the ground over there and I know there’s a lot of mixed feelings about him but as a story that took place in the early ‘90s over a guy who became an influential leader. I thought it was an interesting story.”

Arkells are: Max Kerman, Mike DeAngelis, Dan Griffin, Nick Dika and Tim Oxford.

Hide your mothers, It's The Master of Metal!

After a dark and bumpy ride in the back of a Chupacabra down the Highway to Hell, I couldn’t help but notice the excellent choice of music as I dismount. The wailing guitars of Slayer and Leatherwolf drown out the torturous screams of politicians, rappers and members of New Found Glory and Nickleback as an army of miscreants take it upon themselves to dismember, torture and destroy for all eternity in an effort to please and entertain The Master. Waiting in line continues as I quietly wait for The Master’s hearse to come. It isn’t long before the distant unmistakable smell of nitro and the sound of Dio's Don't Talk to Strangers grows louder announcing the quickly-approaching hearse, the most beautifully demonic hot rod - one with big fat tires and everything.

The door opens and the sweet, sweet smell of deathleaf engulfs me as a cavernous, omnipresent voice fills the air: “Welcome to the Belly of The Beast.” From the front seat emerges Mortimer, amidst a steam cloud of sulphur. After a growl and some drooling he steps on it and we dart—it’s 1’320 to go ‘till the finish line. The Hearse from Hell blazes at the speed of light through a crowded, seemingly never-ending school zone, blasting Iron Maiden's Aces High and ploughing women, children and little old ladies a la Carmageddon.

After an unforgettable ride we pull into a cola bud-lined driveway, and I can see The Master standing at the end as he waits for our arrival. A most gracious host, The Master greets me with a skilfully wrapped number of the finest deathleaf from hell as he guides me into his lair. A modern day Dante, my ripped jeans, battle vest and Motörhead tee doesn’t compare to The Master’s black leather trench coat and Simmons-like boots, making me feel slightly underdressed—how dare I not dress to match the occasion? The plethora of beautiful nude women serving us food and other favours quickly makes me forget the attire as it slowly peels off and is left near the door. The Master’s lovely assistants bring forth a feast of unmentionable debauchery in which they take full part, a fitting preamble to a long awaited audience with The Master.

Before we get down to business, it is—in my view—imperative to ask you Master, where have your (YouTube) featured assistants gone? “Ah, my lovely assistants,” he adds with laughter. “The sad truth is I keep eating them, and yes, they are quite tasty! I would stop enslaving such lovely assistants but my minions insist on hot chicks with their metal and I can only oblige. Unfortunately for these ladies, I can't help feasting on their tender flesh. A conundrum like this cannot be easily solved. Luckily, there are millions of female minions eager to worship their Master so I won't run out of assistants or a warm food supply.” The army of lovely servants is overwhelming, supporting every word The Master says, an army that has made every effort to ensure I enjoy a comfortable stay.

A skilled magician, The Master has delighted his minions worldwide with a short selection of majick tricks, but will we see any more tricks in the future, Master? “Perhaps,” The Master continues, “I have a new trick which involves shuffling a deck of cards, picking three of them randomly to lay out on the table in front of a lucky Pooper or two, and then skull fucking them mercilessly while I ram the rest of the cards down their throats to suffocate them as quickly as possible.” The lone mention of the act makes his assistants pour over him in anticipation, as they all want to volunteer for a show. “[The poopers] are quite surprised and Mortimer always gets a kick out of it, quite a good trick for weddings and bar mitzvahs. Plus, Mortimer gets to eat the bodies and practice his perverted brand of lovemaking. Not in that order, of course.” So speaking of dirty tricks, have the contents of your bag changed? “The contents of My Bag are always changing, depending on what I need. For instance, right now in My Bag I have three and a half ounces of supreme Deathleaf,” adding quite proudly, to which I can vouch for in full, “half a bottle of lubrication, a small well-sharpened axe, a bag of peanut M&M's, a coil of rope, a grappling hook and a list of addresses for mothers I will soon fornicate with…I don't like to scrape the darkest depths... unless it is the dark depth of your Mother's cavernous vagina!” as He bursts out in his signature demonic laughter, letting out a thick cloud of yellowish-green smoke.

Staying on the topic of cavernous vaginas, on the drive here Mortimer mentioned the time he had to collect you after escaping Samantha’s vagina, a true odyssey by the sounds of it! How did you do it? “Are we talking the Sex in the City Samantha or the Bewitched Samantha? For no man would ever want to escape Elizabeth Montgomery's twitching witch hole! As to the Sex in the City Samantha, that vagina was more difficult an exit than when Indiana Jones tried to outrun that boulder in the Peruvian jungle. You may recall the rope and grappling hook from My Bag, which I used quite successfully to scale the gargantuan walls of that monstrous mound of vagina. Once I got to the top, I was able to navigate her taint and apply a modest amount of crushing anal penetration on the backside. Upon finishing, I let the other three girls lap up My Manspunk with their tongues until Samantha was clean enough for another go around, after which a thousand Minions had their way in the largest mass spelunking in the history of crevices and caves. Sloppy thousands, anyone?” –No kidding! And what about your Sack? Have you reached the bottom yet? “Not even close! However, many of My Minions have reached the underside of My Sack with their yearning tongues and hungry lips. Quite frankly, My Satanic Scrotum has never been cleaner!”

And speaking of clean, Mortimer allowed me to listen to some of your new recordings and mentioned you have a new album coming out soon. Is there anything else you can tell us about it? “My Minions have been begging and pleading for a studio album from their Master and in between mother fuckings and ganja burnings, I have recorded just such a ribald treat. Entitled "Rhapsodomy in Black," the album will feature newly recorded versions of some of My live favourites as well as songs that no (other) Minion has heard the Master perform. Provided you have the good sense to purchase one, I will squirm into your ear canals and infect your brain with culture, lust and degradation. Soon you will see and hear it all on YouTube and iTunes! For now, salivate and wait.”

And while we wait, you urge us to confess to be saved, however, wouldn’t that prevent all minions from partying for all eternity with you here at The Castle? “Confession is so very important, Minion,” The Master insists adamantly, “your fellow deviants and miscreants share their deepest, darkest secrets with you; it's the least you could do to share yours with them. Being saved from a life of Ignorance, Hypocrisy and Bad Taste in Music is all part of being a Minion. I'll also liberate your virginity and save your genitals... for lunch!” I can attest to this, after a succulent all-you-can-eat featuring The Master’s lovely assistants as the main course. “Salvation as offered by the Church only includes molestation, shame and sodomy in the fine print. I put it right on the front page in bold letters so you know what you're getting into. And I know what I'm getting into... it's called your sphincter! As to hanging with Me for eternity, that all depends on your ability to procure high quality ganja, freshly shorn vagina and new Minions to be inducted into the 9th circle of Hell. If you can handle that, you are welcome at the Castle!” If I may, oh great master, you mention the 9th circle and I’d like to thank you for the opportunity to unwind on some nasty politicians; which brings me to my next question: Why is it important to vote? “Though it may seem hopeless, voting actually holds power. Power against Poopers! Power to change things from the stupefied reality we now soak in to a glorified future that until now has remained forbidden. Take the UK, where Gordon Brown has recently earned his last name by stepping in a hot pile of shit of his own making. That grotty ponce David Cameron has shown us that somewhere a toolshed is missing its largest tool as he spews his xenophobic and bitter solutions to the problem (for the record, I don't believe euthanizing immigrants is good economical policy in any country.) That leaves Nick Clegg, whom I rather like. [He] seems like a decent chap who wants to get in and change the toxic culture of politics in jolly Olde England. He's like a brave man with an optimistically large shovel standing before a monumental mountain of steaming turds (thank you, Maggie Thatcher). No matter what, he couldn't possibly fuck up England any worse than the Labour party has for years. And his sickest nightmares would pale in comparison to the hellish landscape of a Conservative-run country, where the NHS would soon stand for "No Help. Sod off." In My estimation, Clegg is the only real choice. Is he the UK's Obama? Well, I haven't seen the size of his wang but he talks like he's got a right hearty set of bollocks, so perhaps he'll rise to the occasion. Perhaps if My Minions help get Clegg elected, he'll promote Me to Minister of Culture, where I can preside over a Carnal Cabinet of Mirthful Minions and host a nightly television spectacle on the BBC, channel 666. Sodomy, torture and cooking tips, plus a few musical moments and the execution of anyone who still says "Hey, Nonny, Nonny." Ah, a Master can dream...”

As per the need of minions worldwide to get a live glimpse of the Master, He adds, “In the words of Monte Hall, let's Make a Deal! See you soon, Minions!”

Debauchery, Rockers and War.

This week I had the chance to chat with DEBAUCHERY’s Thomas Gurrath. Recently Thomas skyrocketed to worldwide fame after being fired from his job as a schoolteacher due to his involvement with German death metallers Debauchery, a band which he fronts and leads.

A busy man, Thomas is also the force behind BIG BALL, a hard rock project that hails from Stuttgart and recently opened for SAXON during some of their European dates. “I had to ask for two days off [from school] so I could go with Big Ball on the Saxon tour” he explains, “The school [principal] put my name on Google and they found out about Debauchery,” setting off the now infamous chain of events. “I don’t care, it’s not as bad as it seems, my band thinks is very funny” he jovially adds, “I’ve been a professional musician longer than I have been a teacher (…) I decided to teach so I could help finance Debauchery and Big Ball.” Since going viral over a week ago, his story has readily provided free advertising for both his projects, no doubt giving the record company’s domestic ad campaign a boost as well as sales and exposure for both.

Debauchery, Thomas’ main project, has released a new album almost every year since 2003 via AFM in Europe. Their latest work, Rockers & War was released a little over a year ago. Thomas and the Kill Team are scheduled to play at Wacken Open Air this summer. “I’m really excited, it should be a lot of fun,” he adds about the W.O.A prospect, “this is the first time we play at Wacken so I’m very excited, this is also my first time going to the festival.”

With W.O.A in the horizon, what other plans are in the drawing board? Thomas is quick to respond: “the same as we had since [Debauchery] started, we’d like to bring our band to Canada and the U.S, do more festivals here and possibly record a new album in the fall (…) I hope it all turns out as planned.” And what about Canada? “We’d like to tour other countries (…) we’d like to visit Canada and the U.S but it is very difficult for us to get our gear across, the work visas and the paperwork.”

Thomas is the driving force behind Debauchery and Big Ball, handling most of the bookings and production duties himself, as well as recruiting some heavyweight help. “For the last Debauchery record Tom Naumann (formerly of Primal Fear) did the leads, and I had the help of a very good sound engineer.”

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Laying Waste - An Interview With Tony Foresta

I had the chance to chat with Tony Foresta, frontman of American crossover thrashers Municipal Waste on the eve of their anticipated Latin American tour. We chatted plenty about good music and fun times, however, when I asked him what he’d miss the most while on tour he was quick to respond: “I have a pretty tight group of friends at home here in Florida, so I think I’m gonna miss them the most”.

MW will take on the road starting March 7th with their first show of a short Latin American tour starting in Mexico and including places like Brazil and Colombia, notable for their ardent metal scenes. “I don’t know what to expect, we’ve never been there before, but everybody’s saying it’s gonna be crazy!” says Tony about the upcoming tour that will feature The Waste as headliners “I think we’re bringing out local [punk and thrash] bands as special guests for our shows”.

The signature crossover sound of Municipal Waste is reminiscent of outfits such as Black Flag and Misfits with a distinct thrash flavour from bands like Slayer. “I think it’s something for everybody, you know, you don’t have to be a metal-head to be into our band” points out ‘Guardrail’ Foresta, “We like hardcore, thrash, whatever dude, we don’t give a fuck you know, we’re here to have a good time” and the mix sure is good, as the band fan base continues to grow, this has been evident throughout the last few tours according to Foresta “Shows are great like that ‘cuz everybody comes you know, from all walks of life, not just the one crowd”

And what about Massive Aggressive? “Its been great! (…) most of the times the audience wouldn't really know the songs right away, it would take them about a year to get it, now with this one, the first tour we went on people knew the words right away, the reception’s been great” case an point the band is also scheduled for a short Japanese tour starting May 12th with stops confirmed in Tokyo, Nagoya and Osaka thus far.

But Tony is not one to stay put. His side project, No Friends, released their new EP last summer and confirmed with me about having just finished recording their upcoming LP release, “I’m really excited about it, its not your typical hardcore record” and not only the new album is not your typical hardcore record but it will also be distributed on a not very typical way “it’s gonna be out online, you’re gonna be able to download it for free, and also available on vinyl only”

FREE MUSIC? Well, sign me up! Accounting for the slump in CD sales all around digital releases have increased in popularity, and this is being noticed by artists all across the board. “Nobody gives a shit about CD’s anymore; they’re going in the landfill now” states Foresta, “people now either buy the record or download it for free anyway” and as to why vinyl? Well, Tony assures “I think that vinyl is gonna outlast CD”.